ok, maybe “coward” is too harsh, so let’s call it what people aren’t. most people aren’t brave, and they don’t know it. maybe calling them cowards is a stretch, but it’s closer to the truth than we’d like to admit. when i was 20, i got detained at JFK airport for no reason. after 25 hours of questioning, i realised something unexpected: i was a coward.
i landed there naive and unprepared. i’d heard about JFK’s reputation for being islamophobic, but i shrugged it off. i’d never done anything wrong, so what could they possibly do to me? i believed that right and wrong naturally fall into place.
then the interrogation began. they asked to search my phone. i thought, why not? i had nothing to hide, so if it got me out of the airport faster, it was worth it. looking back, they took the smallest things and blew them up, finding meaning where there wasn’t any. those simple messages that, to me, seemed harmless suddenly became points of suspicion.
that simple belief in justice started to crack. i found myself defending things that felt normal in my world but were twisted into something else. but this isn’t really about what happened. it’s about how i acted. i was a coward. i answered every question without thinking twice. i didn’t say anything that felt especially revealing, but i walked away feeling like i’d given up something i shouldn’t have. i was so focused on getting into the country, i didn’t care about what i left behind.
ironically, the people i’d mentioned were the first to support me when i got home. they didn’t care what i’d said. so why did it bother me so much?
because i’d failed my first test of bravery.
we all grow up with certain values and beliefs. they shape who we are, and we tell ourselves that this is me, this is what i stand for. but how much do we really believe in them? do we hold these values, or have we simply never been put in a situation where they’re truly tested?
when was the last time you had to stand by your beliefs when the stakes were real?
being tested means risking something real, standing by your ideals when you have something to lose. so where is that risk? is it in your social media bubble, where everyone already agrees with you, where you’re anonymous with nothing to tie back to you? or is it on your work slack channel, when someone downplays israel’s complicity in the genocide happening right now?
when things got just a little real for me, i crumbled. and for what? just to spend a week looking at skyscrapers. i thought i was brave, but i wasn’t.
most people aren’t brave because they’ve never been tested. they’ve never had to practice it. there’s no bravery gym. you learn it when the stakes are real, when you have something to lose. it’s Allah placing you in situations to see if you actually believe what you say you do.
bravery isn’t just a trait you’re born with. it’s a skill issue.
when you see bravery as a skill issue, you start to understand that you have the capacity to be scared, to let people down. you’re not invincible. bravery isn’t something innate you just have. it’s a muscle, something you have to work on, even though you only get a few real chances to exercise it. the bravest people recognise this. they know they’re not immune to fear or failure. but they strive to make the right choices every single day so that when the stakes are real, they’ll be ready.
some people might go their whole lives without ever being tested, and that’s okay. they won’t understand when others fail, not realising they’d likely fail too. they don’t even know they’ve never been tested. the stakes have never gotten real.
influencers are a good example of stakes being slightly more real. they rely on brand deals and play by certain rules to keep the money coming in. it doesn’t mean they deserve sympathy, just that they’re like most people. most people are cowards. they just don’t know it yet.
the bravest people are aware they have the capacity to not be brave. bravery isn’t a trait; it’s making the right choices daily, so when it truly matters, you’ll stand for what’s right.
most people aren’t brave, but they can be. because even though the chances to exercise it are rare, bravery like a lot of things is just a skill issue at the end of day.
